Fine Fine, I'm weird, I admit it.
Someone said that I'm a silly girl, usually people like to present themselves as perfect in everyway, why do I air out all of my negative sides on blog.
OKAY! first of all I was shocked anyone reads my blog, I figured after a few long boring posts with many spelling mistakes, the most patient readers would waved goodbye by now. And 2nd it's not like I planed for hours on how to air out my worst sides, I just happen to write whatever I feel that day. But I do admit I like to mention my negative sides first, for some reason I can't understand why do people like me, maybe I don't want them to get disappointed once they get to know me.
I remember from 1st - 6th grade, there was this girl that all of the classmates always bullied, she had this bowl cut hair style & always wear terrible clothing, so all of the kids always call her stupid/ugly. Although I was always popular I've never picked on her, I don't know why they all bully her, if she is dumb/ugly why is that anyone else's business to punish her? I fear those kids would see through me, to know that I wasn't so smart either, what if after a few years of schooling together (boarding school) they find out that I wasn't so perfect as they expected? would they feel disappointed & treat me the same way as her?
Maybe it became a habit, now I automatically air out all of my negative sides to complete strangers, maybe I unconsciously hope that people won't think I'm always smart or happy or whatever ~ all to expect too much, in reality I'm not so perfect, I don't know alot of things, I don't get alot of jokes, I'm super slow - most of the times it takes me a whole day to realize what had just happened ... oh right, airing my bad sides, did I do it again?! ooops ...
PS: I got another spider bite, for some reasons spiders likes me aloot, maybe it's the smell of my lotion :( sigh now one of my finger is as big as a walnut!
